Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
