ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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