Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize