Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
