speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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