so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
