I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
