Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
