Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
