Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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