just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
We are two peas in an std pod
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
