I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
