Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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