His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Just cropdusted the office
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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