I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
