Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
What drink are we having for lunch?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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