I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
