he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
