I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
