I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
