they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Success! We fucked roommates!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
