we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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