Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
