I must be too annoying 4 u.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
