Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
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