Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize