I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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