i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize
