I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
