girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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