hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
