What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
