So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
