Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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