She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
