i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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