Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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