So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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