we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
