We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I am one with the molecules
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
