I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
