It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
