She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Four minutes until I can fart!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm too high and old for this...
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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