Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
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