Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
