Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
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