what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
