Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
