She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
