I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
