I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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