You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
