do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
