I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
