ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
