can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
