We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Everyone says I win the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize