Who wears a wallet chain?!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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