I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
