I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
honey bunches of taint.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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