I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
25 People Confess Their Terrifying Stalker Stories
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.