i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
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He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
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He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao