Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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