I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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