Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Randomize
